Week 14 Edition
Written By Bo McBrayer
I have come to be known for all sorts of spicy takes, whether it’s related to season-long fantasy football, DFS, or food topics. Writing this article has been a ton of fun, even though getting them wrong every week makes me look like a raving lunatic. I’ve had close calls, terribly bad ones, and one perfect one in Week 6. I will not be deterred from taking a stab at the NFL slate with my plausible-but-unlikely predictions and this is the avenue to organize my incoherent ramblings into a one-click destination.
Week 13 was pretty rough. The running back duel between Derrick Henry and Nick Chubb was absolutely ruined by the Titans defense giving up four first half passing touchdowns to Baker Mayfield. Talk about a tilt!
Mike Glennon did throw for 280 yards against the Vikings, but only one touchdown, and the Jags gave the game away in overtime to keep their “Flounder for Fields” hopes alive.
Out of Devontae Booker, David Montgomery, and James White, only Monty was worth a damn and finished as a RB1.
The closest PICANTake was the one that predicted 400 yards passing from Jared Goff, 100 yards receiving for both Robert Woods and Cooper Kupp, and the game total from Rams-Cards to be the highest of the entire slate. Goff finished with 351, Woods 85, Kupp 73, and if it wasn’t for the Browns-Titans game, the 66 total would have been the highest of Week 13.
For Week 14, we are finally done with bye weeks, giving us 15 games after Thursday. I had so much to look at with some very interesting matchups. True to form, my objective is to find some crazy-on-the-surface events to take place. The kind of things that if they miss, people scoff at me and move on, but if I nail one…I’M A FRICKIN’ SAVANT!!! Sound off on these on Twitter and shoot me your own PICANTakes!!!
Jonathan Taylor Will Gain 150 Scrimmage Yards and Two Touchdowns and the Colts Will Beat the Raiders by 14+.
I love JT as a prospect and the Vegas Raiders were gashed by Ty Johnson and the Jets last week. I almost upped this to 200 scrimmage yards, but then remembered that I don’t trust Frank Reich that much to give JT the bell cow role outright. The Raiders are fool’s gold this year, with Derek Carr folding like a lawn chair under pressure, except when a moronic coaching staff runs the old “Engage Eight” play from Madden at the end of the game. Without a solid running game to worry about, the Colts match up well with Vegas’s offensive weapons and should stifle any hopes of a repeat Waller smashing. Give me Indy by a mile here, with the rookie stud leading the way.
JD McKissic Will Have 15 Receptions and Washington FT Will Not Surrender More than One Touchdown to the 49ers.
It’s a battle of easily my two least favorite teams. Since I hate them so, I have also watched a lot of their games, just to spew my vile, hatred-filled opinions during their games on Twitter. I was impressed with Washington last week, where they “upset” the overrated Steelers without contributions from Antonio Gibson or Terry McLaurin. Alex Smith is a freaking gamer and I admire his dead-set mission to check the ball down to McKissic. I also have a football crush on this defense, especially the defensive line. They are well-coached and should tear Nick Mullens to pieces on Sunday. Watch me go full psycho-sadist wishing for the 49ers to get ripped to shreds.
Andy Dalton Will Get His Ginger Vengeance on the Bengals and finish as a QB1 (Top 12) and Dalton Schultz Will Score Twice.
This is the “Law Firm” stack I’ll be rolling out in DFS Tournaments this weekend. The Bengals have quite literally quit on the field, with their offensive line remaining stationary on the bench during last week’s brawl with Miami. The Cowboys have been clicking much better on offense, even against better defenses. Dalton should be good to go with some big play potential down the field with Lamb and Gallup, but the seam and goal line targets will give Schultz a great big of opportunity to finish in the top three tight ends this week against Cincy’s 31stranked defense against the position.
The Saints and Eagles Will Have More Turnovers than Touchdowns AND More Field Goals than Touchdowns in a Game That Will Finish Under a 37 total.
I don’t think Taysom Hill and the Saints offense matches up well with the Eagles defense. I also believe Jalen Hurts is a better quarterback than Carson Wentz, but will struggle mightily against a Saints defense that ranks at the top of the league and are shutting everyone down lately. Are the Saints a better team than the Eagles? Of course they are, but it will be tough sledding if they think they can ride the Mormon Missile’s throwing ability to victory over anyone except the Falcons. This will be a snoozer to watch, 19-16 Saints.